Gluten-Free People Are Getting Laid Way More than the Rest of Us
They might not have pizza, but they have a lot of sex.
Photo via Flickr user Sarah R / Composite by Hilary Pollack
If you’re exhausted from swiping your days away on Bumble or have been enduring a dry spell that dates back to the middle of the Obama administration, you might want to quit bread. According to a survey conducted by Match.com, in going gluten-free might be beneficial for more body parts than just your digestive tract, if you know what we mean. (We mean your naughty bits.)
For its eighth annual Singles in America survey, Match.com commissioned Research Now to ask more than 5,000 singles a long list of questions about their dating and sexual habits and preferences. And perhaps the most interesting tidbit gleaned from this research is that apparently the people who follow a gluten-free diet are the ones who are getting laid, like, way more than the rest of us.
“People who have followed a gluten-free diet are 217 percent more likely to have had a date in the [past] year and 172 percent less likely to have had a dry spell that lasted two or more years,” Match.com beamed. “Those who report they orgasm are 43 percent more likely to follow a gluten-free diet.”
According to the survey answers, 435 people (8.7 percent of the total respondents) said that they used to follow a gluten-free diet but are not currently gluten-free, while another 408 (8.1 percent) stopped boning long enough to denote that, yes, they are currently gluten-free.
Maybe not having sourdough breath can make you more attractive to potential sexual partners, or maybe those who are gluten-free just get down more often because they’re not too full from shoveling massive plates of fettuccine into their mouths at dinner. It’s also likely that it’s just a “correlation doesn’t equal causation” scenario, in that you can be gluten-free and have sex on the reg, but those two things aren’t entirely connected.
On the survey, 1738 people (35 percent) indicated that they had endured a sexual dry spell of more than two years (and another 362 said that they were still virgins). Another 1,245 (25 percent) said that they were currently enduring a dry spell that had lasted at least two long years. The respondents were 47 percent male and 53 percent female and ranged in age from 18 to 70-plus.
Look, we’re not sure whether saying “Hold the gluten, my dude” will make you more or less likely to get naked with a semi-stranger, but if you’ve tried everything else, maybe it’s the way to go.
You may also want to stop taunting your friend who can’t eat pizza—they might be getting their kicks in other ways.