Pizza Chain Introduces $25 'Festival Pyzza' Slice That Is Intentionally as Shitty as Fyre Fest
Hopefully you won't have to suck dick to get some Evian to wash it down.
Until a couple of weeks ago, the only people who still regularly thought about Fyre Festival were the investors and contractors who were ripped off by Fyre founder Billy McFarland, the attendees who paid thousands for the chance to flex for their 93 Instagram followers, and writers who just needed a synonym for failure. But then Netflix and Hulu both released standalone documentaries about the luxury festival that wasn’t, and Fyre is suddenly #trending again.
This time, though, Fyre isn’t about attracting influencers, or posting orange squares, or selecting which non-existent beachfront villa to book. Instead, both docs, called Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened and Fyre Fraud respectively, do deep dives examining how it all went wrong. (Fyre, which was coproduced by VICE Studios, also introduced Andy Ki– what? Yes, he’s the Evian guy.)
The documentaries—and the renewed interest in disappointing experiences—have also inspired the newest promotion from Villa Italian Kitchen. The New Jersey-based chain is now selling a slice of something that it calls “The Festival Pyzza,” which is topped with three unmelted, unshredded pieces of individually packaged processed cheese product. It is served with a pile of haphazardly arranged dressing-free salad greens and costs $25.
“We wanted to bring the high-end Bahamian festival experience everyone has been talking about lately to our customers nationwide who may have missed out on the real thing last spring,” Villa Restaurant Group Director of Communications Mimi Wunderlich said. “This pizza is so hot it’s almost worth incarceration for mail and wire fraud.” (Ooooh, put some aloe on that SICK BURN.)
The Pyzza and its salad are an homage to the infamous Fyre sandwich, which was allegedly served to some attendees. “Here's the dinner they fed us tonight. Literally slices of bread, cheese, and salad with no dressing,” Trevor DeHaas dejectedly tweeted from the Bahamas. (Later reports suggested that the sad sandwich was served only to festival staff, not to Fyre guests. But, still looked gross.)
MUNCHIES confirmed with Villa Italian Kitchen that, yes, the Festival Pyzza is a real thing, and it’s available starting today. (It may not be served at all 250 of Villa’s locations, so it was suggested that anyone who really does want to pay $25 for this should call ahead.) Unlike Fyre itself, just don’t expect to see Kendall Jenner posting about it. “When you have a product that’s actually good, you don’t need influencers to lie on your behalf to help sell it,” Andrew Steinberg, Chief Operating Officer of Villa Restaurant Group, told us.
This is a good joke, pizza restaurant. Would you take $4 for it?