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Food

How to Eat in Austin

There is no reason to eat anything but Mexican and/or BBQ when you are in Austin. If you are a vegetarian, your life is screwed no matter where you are, so no need to address that handicap here.
Photo by Flickr user MrLaugh

There is no reason to eat anything but Mexican and/or BBQ when you are in Austin. If you are a vegetarian, your life is screwed no matter where you are, so no need to address that handicap here. And if you are one of those big-headed yokels from Maine who claims to be allergic to beans, fuck you. Texas is full of beans. If you can't acclimate, make like an imitation crab and crawl back to the land of short lobster and Miracle Whip-stuffed Wonder rolls right now. Saying you're allergic to beans is like saying you're allergic to beer. Yeah, who isn't? That is precisely why we drink it. Anyway, here are some great places close to the action. And, most importantly, every single place serves beans.

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El Azteca (2600 E. 7th) One of the original Tex-Mex places in town, and so old-school that they still serve complimentary sherbet after meals. Try the cabrito flautas. And because Austin was always such a hippie stronghold, they've had a special section on the menu for their vegetarian friends since the 70s. If you're really lucky, they'll still have some of this year's signature calendars depicting naturally busty Aztec princesses about to be sacrificed. Angie's (900 E. 7th) This spot is perched high on a hill next to the InterRegional. Order puffy tacos; they aren't on the menu but are perfect for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If you weren't already, you'll be embarrassed to ever go to Taco Bell again. Plus, Angie's passes the truest test of a Mexican eatery—homemade corn tortillas, which are as necessary to a Mexican's diet as booze is to an Irishman's. Los Comales (2136 E. 7th) A comal is a griddle used for cooking steaks à la Mexicana, and this place has a bunch of them. Try any carne asada plate, or even the mole enchiladas. Mariachis play on the weekend and it's a good place to take large gangs. Speak Spanish if you want superior service, but avoid the margaritas as I think they're made with wine. El Chile Café (1809 Manor Road) Can't hardly be beat—incredibly well-crafted Mexican food, and each day's special is better than the last's. The bar is capable of stellar concoctions so grab an outdoor table, order a michelada, and relax. Here you will see more hipster gringos than the other Mexican spots, but, hey, that just might be because the food's a little better. The Tamale House #3 (5003 Airport Blvd.) Ground zero of the breakfast-taco revolution and a treasure beyond belief. It's super-cheap, there is nowhere to sit, and it's fucking delicioso. Skip the tamales and get the guacamole chalupas, carne guisada tacos, or any breakfast tacos. Closes at 3 PM every day. Also, every time you go, you're guaranteed to see someone from Chicago or Sydney you haven't seen in years. Ruby's (512 W. 29th) Hands-down the best chopped-beef sandwich in America. Because they serve hormone-free beef, and vegetarians can genuinely feast on their enormous sides, Ruby's is the best BBQ place in town. A super-funky Austin spot open late, near the University of Texas. Much safer than Sam's for those driving Mom's car. Sam's (2000 E. 12th) Easily the most popular BBQ joint in town with the rock 'n' roll set needing brisket at 3 AM. Ignore the hookers—or don't, as they are at least half the fun at this east-side old timer. Just order a plate and tell them to mix it up nicely for you. They've handled so many drunken idiots over the years, they won't even flinch at your custom Nikes and Cheap Mondays jeans. Iron Works (100 Red River) Great BBQ in a pleasant setting. Iron Works is more expensive than the other places, but they consistently crank out incredible ribs like few others. Take your time and enjoy it, as places this good are few and far between. Plus, it is close enough to downtown that you can get hammered on Lone Star and walk around drunk. There is one exception to the Mexican vs. BBQ dining dilemma in Austin: The legendary Chicken-Fried Steak. Only one place has the right balance of fried steak, cream gravy, and attendant Western-swing culture, and that is the Broken Spoke Dancehall (3201 S. Lamar). Don't bother with the other claimants to the CFS crown, they are merely cafeterias with waiters. As an added bonus, few honky-tonks are more storied or revered than the Spoke. Take your bass player friend from Tokyo there; he'll never be the same.