Nothing makes the gummies go down quite like a wee bit of xenophobia and a heavy pinch of demagoguery.
Germany may indeed be the Land of Chocolate, but Alternative for Deutschland—a populist right-wing party that is wholly anti-Islam—is willing to bet that there's a German or two out there with a taste for gummy bears and a blind hatred of minorities and foreigners.
Believe it or not, the political party, commonly known as AfD, has begun to sell branded gummy bears and bonbons in an attempt to increase funds. The AfD, by the way, is the party that insists, "Islam is not part of Germany," and has endorsed a ban on burqas.
Politically charged gummy bears don't come cheap, by the way. At €60 per tiny package (US $67), they are the costliest item in the political party's online store.
Its affinity for cute little candies may have you thinking that the AfD is a fly-by-night organization that can just be ignored. If so, you'd be wrong. Led by Frauke Petry, the party came in just short of the 5 percent of votes necessary to be represented in the German Parliament in 2013. They are currently getting ready for the 2017 elections—and paving the way with fruit-flavored treats. The party is known for its Euroskeptic platform and its call for "controlled immigration"—which seems to be a euphemistic way of saying any and all Muslims don't belong in Germany.
Not that the AfD hasn't had its problems. They seem to have had a bit of a hard time raising money. Petry, the party leader, is presently under investigation for perjury related to donations made during state elections. And, when the party tried to finance itself by selling gold online—yes, gold—it ran afoul of a new finance law. What's more, they've had some PR gaffes. The AfD was just forced to apologize after its deputy leader made a spectacularly racist comment regarding footballer Jérôme Boateng.
Oh, well. We're sure it's nothing that a torrent of brightly colored gummy bears can't solve!
This all may have you wondering whether Donald Trump will be funding his political aspirations by selling Welch's Fruit Snacks on the subway. Or whether pro-Hillarys super PAC coffers will be filled to the brim with Reese's Pieces and Almond Joys.
All we can say is it looks like you best watch your back, Haribo. After all, nothing makes the gummies go down quite like a wee bit of xenophobia and a heavy pinch of demagoguery.