Tesla-Branded Tequila Might Soon Exist Thanks To You Nerds

If you know someone who's genuinely excited about 'Teslaquila,' now's the time to stop being friends with them.

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Oct 12 2018, 7:11pm

Composite Image; original Mark Brake/Getty Images

One upside to rich and powerful corporate titans regularly showing their asses on the internet is that the ensuing brand loyalty tells you more about a given consumer than ever before. Wait, actually—this might in fact be bad and exhausting, but either way, it's definitely a newfound reality of social judgement.

For example: I can tell you already that I do not want to get stuck in a protracted conversation at a house party with someone who is excited about Tesla-branded tequila. And while that was true even as a hypothetical, soon there may be actual tequila that could be on a person's shelf and would make me (and probably you) think twice about bringing up manned expeditions to Mars.

"Teslaquilla" [sic] was first floated as an April Fools' joke on Elon Musk's Twitter as part of what appears to be a feeble stab at self deprecation.

But now, perhaps so enamored with the punny name or else just facing a lot more free time than he's had in years, Musk tweeted that "Teslaquila" is "coming soon" in response to news that Tesla has officially filed for a patent on the name.

And then he tweeted this, which is I guess how rich innovators say "picture."

Branded booze is not the worst way to expand the purview of a company that built a name for itself on the promise of self-driving cars (no designated driver required!). But it sure does seem to say "midlife crisis"—both for Musk himself and whomever ends up buying these bad boys off eBay in a couple years.