This Week in Food Porn
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This Week in Food Porn

Welcome to This Week in Food Porn, MUNCHIES’ guide to the most drool-inducing pics posted to the ’gram in the past seven days. With strictly no #nomnomnom.

You're a busy person. You've got places to go, people to see, hot takes to construct on the dancing ladies emoji as a symbol of fourth wave feminism. You can't possibly be expected to keep track of all the #latteart #foodgasm pics posted to Instagram on the reg.

But going about your day-to-day life in ignorance of food-related uploads to popular photo sharing websites is no way to live. Which is why we've taken it upon ourselves to help, one carefully filtered bao bun shot at a time.

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Welcome to This Week in Food Porn, MUNCHIES' guide to the most drool-inducing pics posted to the 'gram in the past seven days. Our first instalment comes from an array of British chefs, producers, and all-round food fiends. With strictly no #nomnomnom.

You can thank us later, when you're elbow-deep in icing sugar, frantically trying to recreate that macaron tower you double tapped three hours ago.

Uh huh #breakfast

A photo posted by Rosie Birkett (@rosiefoodie) on Sep 16, 2015 at 1:09am PDT

We know what you're going to say about basic bitches and "organic rye with smashed avo" just being a good copywriting job on mush-smothered toast, but you're wrong. A thousand creamy, green smears of wrong.

It's that time of the year again @theplatedwild #fungi #forage #mushroom A photo posted by chefpaulcrowe (@chefpaulcrowe) on Sep 13, 2015 at 10:27am PDT

Photos like this remind us that mushrooms are probably the most feral of all pizza toppings—unidentifiable pepperoni scraps included.

*THIS* is what I need right now! Awesome shot by @allthingsmeaty of the unlimited bacon and eggs from our Sunday #SlowBrunch session … at the #MirrorRoom @RosewoodLondon Take me back!! #CBrecommends

A photo posted by Clerkenwell_Boy (@clerkenwellboyec1) on Sep 15, 2015 at 1:24am PDT

Who is Clerkenwell Boy? We don't know, the Guardian doesn't know, Jamie Oliver doesn't know, but he has half of London hanging onto his hot-restaurant-tick-boxing feed. The only thing more envy/rage-inducing than his immaculately appetising photos is the fact that he takes them all on a Samsung.

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Fruit bowl A photo posted by Ed Smith (@rocketandsquash) on Sep 16, 2015 at 3:15am PDT

With tomatoes actually being a fruit—not a vegetable—we should really be displaying them as such. It's a damn sight prettier than consigning those vine-ripeneds to the bottom drawer of the fridge.

This Guy

A photo posted by V E G A N C H E F (@kingcookdaily) on Sep 14, 2015 at 1:30pm PDT

Do you even stack, bro?

More academic than hedonistic, 1976 #closrougeard A photo posted by Noble Rot (@noblerotmag) on Sep 15, 2015 at 8:59am PDT

"More academic than hedonistic" may sound like the kind of caption your consciously bookish 15-year-old cousin tags her #libraryselfies with, but we're talking about a 1976 Clos Rougeard here. That's a completely different type of book smarts.

Well, I decided to stay with the Italian theme with this plate of troffie with #pesto #pasta #early #dinner #Chelsea #London

A photo posted by anissa helou (@anissahelou) on Sep 15, 2015 at 10:16am PDT

You know you're doing dinner right when your plate looks like a Bauhaus-era Kandinsky—but with pesto.

When you're eating a crap hoisin duck wrap from pret for lunch but REALLY wanna be eating this awesome guy from @eatpokelondon #hawaii #kawaii #poke A photo posted by Freddie Janssen (@freddielookatme) on Sep 17, 2015 at 6:53am PDT

This is what the pink bikini emoji was invented for: technicolour carrot-scattered, sesame-sprinkled, black rice-bolstered poke.

Very happy with my fermenting tools!

A photo posted by Nigella (@nigellalawson) on Sep 15, 2015 at 9:48am PDT

Nigella. With a fermenting pot and some sort of wooden implement. Don't question, just observe.