Best Of 2014: Old People Still Know More Than We Do

The great Roman orator Cicero once said that old people only remember what interests them: namely, where their money is buried.

But Cicero was kind of a dick.

We like to think that we can learn a lot more from our elders, and this year we surely did.

Take Adrien Gervais, a 90-year-old farmer from Ontario who grows pumpkins that tip the scales at over 1,200 pounds—just because he can.

When we called him up to ask him a few questions about how he grows his monster squash, he responded: "Well, I can't understand you very well."

Then there was the kind sage Laurie Cabot—the official witch of Salem, Massachusetts. She's been fighting negative portrayals of witches for decades, but, at 81 years old, she was able to spare a few moments to explain to us the edible traditions of Samhain, the pagan new year festival, and share her pumpkin soup recipe. We also grooved with her on moon magic and crow feathers.

Peruvian chef Javiar Wong was too busy cursing at us to tell us his age, because he sure doesn't take shit from young punks. He's the godfather of ceviche in Lima, where he makes a dead-simple dish with the freshest ingredients possible. "If gringos can't make this," he offered, "they're just dumb."

Far more genteel was 80-year-old apple expert Tom Burford, who literally wrote the book on North American apple varieties. When he's not gently defacing Red Delicious apples or lecturing passionately on the demise of our nation's great apple culture, he's sitting down quietly and meditating with his fruit.

Last, but certainly not least, was Aurora Leveroni—better known as "Nonna Marijuana," the 91-year-old queen of weed cuisine who came to cook bud after her daughter began using marijuana to relieve her epileptic seizures. (Check out her gnocchi in ganja butter and chicken pot-cciatore to get an idea of her prowess.) She won't touch the stash herself, but don't fuck with Nonna. As she says, "No sticks, no stones will break my bones. But don't fool around with my marijuana. I can assure you that if you do, sticks and stones will break your bones."