all photos by Chris Maggio

Treetr™ App Will Revolutionize Your Halloween

That grueling neighborhood march known as "trick-or-treating" is right around the corner, and the last thing you wanna do is leave your house just to gather things to put in your mouth. However, Treetr™ is here to change all that. In a nutshell? It’s...

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Oct 27 2015, 6:00pm

all photos by Chris Maggio

It's almost October 31 and I can already hear you groaning. That grueling neighborhood march known as "trick-or-treating" is right around the corner, and the last thing you wanna do is leave your house just to gather things to put in your mouth.

However, Treetr™ is here to change all that. In a nutshell? It's Halloween, simplified.™

Available for both iPhone and Android, Treetr™ is an app that allows you to outsource the dreadful labor of trick-or-treating to a network of over 10,000 delivery men nationwide, all controlled from the palm of your hand. All you need is an index finger and access to your parent's credit card!

No more swollen feet from walking circles round the block, no more touching the diseased doorknobs of strangers, and no more cutting holes in the urine-soaked white sheets of your baby brother. Just unlock your phone, and an army of underpaid strangers awaits your every greedy command.

Here's how it works: once you've selected a Treetr™ from their in-app profile, your request is rocketed across our nationwide LTE network to their mobile device. Choose a single Treetr™ or dispatch multiples. It all depends on the size of the candy haul that you're after!


Pending their approval, the Treetr(s)™ you've selected can view your candy-collection preferences to ensure that your outsourced Trick-or-Treeting™ experience is precisely tailored to fit your needs.


Once your Treetrs™ have been dispatched, take a load off! Dig through your dad's Netflix DVDs (lol, your dad still gets Netflix DVDs) and watch something R-rated! It doesn't have to be a scary movie!


Once your Treetrs™ are roaming around the neighborhood, you can steer them to any house that has pre-registered with the app. Use Treetr's™ Porch Preview® function to feel side-by-side with these men who are missing their own children's Halloween to serve you.


No more heavy lifting for you! While you sit at home, these men are collecting your candy!



When the candy aggregation is complete, Treetr™ steers the delivery straight to your door. Boys and girls of all ages can pay with a simple swipe by using our secure checkout system.

Is a tip mandatory? Certainly not. Someone else can take care of that! Don't worry, your Treetr's™ guilt-inducing stare will be out of your house in a minute. Besides, what's a few pennies that you found in your dad's ashtray gonna do anyway?

And you're done! Time to check out your haul!*

*Treetr™ and its subsidiaries are not responsible for what neighbors deposit in Treetr™ Delivery Bags®.

So relax! In our modern world, everyone is unique and special. That is, unless, they can't afford to be! Anyone with enough money deserves to force a stranger to do their dirty work for them!


Happy Halloween!™

Follow Treetr™ on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TreetrApp

Follow Treetr™ on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TreetrApp

DISCLAIMER: This post is in no way sponsored by iPhone or any phone company and this post was inspired solely by the author's imagination. Happy Halloween!