Monday Was a Really Shitty Day for Subway

Monday was a really, really shitty day for the dwindling sub sandwich behemoth that is Subway. That's because Subway was unlucky enough to become the focus of national news organizations not once, but twice in a single day.

Subway's troublesome Monday started when a 45-year-old Oregon man who was stopped by police while riding his bicycle down the street fled to a nearby Subway, took a woman inside hostage, and entered into an armed standoff with law enforcement. Just in case you were wondering, the man—who was eventually shot by SWAT officers—just so happened to have both an "Aryan Pride" tattoo on his forehead and, according to Daily Mail, a neck tattoo of Donald Duck.

Things only continued to get worse for the chain, considering that a Subway employee was arrested the same day for putting meth and THC into a drink he served the local police sergeant.

Here's what happened: The Layton, Utah police sergeant—dressed in his uniform, in a clearly identifiable police vehicle—drove up to a Subway drive-thru at 12:20 PM and ordered a drink. Tanis Lloyd Ukena, 18, was serving the officer. The police allege that Ukena doctored the sergeant's drink with a combo of some pretty heavy-duty mind-altering drugs and then served it to the unwitting sergeant. The police are basing these allegations on two things: first, the sergeant's weird behavior after drinking the drink, and second, the surveillance video, which they say shows how the whole thing went down

According to the police report, "In the video, [Ukena] is seen filling the drink portion of the order at the drive-up fountain area. For some unknown reason, he walks away from the fountain machine out of camera view. He then returns to the drink where he is seen spending what seems to be an unusual amount of time getting it ready to deliver to the sergeant."

The unsuspecting officer allegedly said that the drink "tasted funny," but downed it anyway. Shortly afterwards, the sergeant "began feeling the effects of being drugged," according to the police report. "While approaching an intersection that had a red light, he had difficulty getting his foot to move to the brake pedal. [He] drove to the Layton Police Department, where he was observed to have signs of impairment. He was unable to process information and drifted off, and was unable to focus on questions being asked of him."

The sergeant was taken to a local hospital, which determined that he was indeed high out of his mind. He has since been released. An ion scanner test reportedly showed that meth and THC were in the drink that Ukena had filled. A separate test also "tested positive for narcotics," the police department said.

A Subway spokesperson provided MUNCHIES with the following statement on the matter: "We are shocked by these charges. Our thoughts are with the Sergeant and his family and we are hoping for a quick recovery. The restaurant owners are working closely with the police in their investigation and will take appropriate action. As this is still an active police investigation, we cannot provide any further information and must refer further questions to the police."

Ukena was arrested that evening and booked for "surreptitious administration of a substance," which is a second-degree felony in Utah.

Sorry, Garfield—it looks like Subway might just hate Mondays even more than you from now on.