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This Week in Food Porn: Maple Syrup and Mariah Carey Cake

Nell Frizzell

Nell Frizzell

Here are some of the most delicious dishes to be uploaded to Instagram this week.

October is here, the trees are turning red, and the British Government is knee-sliding its way into Victorian levels of deprivation and social injustice. So let's all just go fully Dickens and chow down on some hot sausage and mustard, cold jelly and custard, peas pudding and saveloys, shall we?

Or, if you still have the will and wherewithal to keep going, here are some of the most delicious autumnal dishes to be uploaded to Instagram this week.

Corn & Feta Fritters for Dinner! #homemade #fritters #corn #mais #jalapeno #coriander #yum

A photo posted by F O O D D E C O (@fooddeco) on

Make me a corn fritter at your gate, And call upon my soul within the plate. Write loyal cantons of contented love, And sing them loud even in the dead of night …

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that I like more after a long day at the office than to sit down to a delicious bowl of rocks and some moldy Dairylea Triangles. No siree. That is the dinner dream, no doubt.

"Hey, Tom?" "Yes, Kev?" "Do you ever wonder? You know, like wonder what it's all for? Why we're here? If man were made to build cathedrals or simply smell buttercups?" "Er … " "Like, do you ever wonder if we should be creating great beauty or simply listening to our hearts?" "Buddy, I've got an itch on my right butt and I can't reach round my lats to scratch it. Could you … ?" "Sure, Tom. No worries."

When you see a pumpkin s'mores donut in your feed and suddenly the world is a very different place. #spoonfeed @broadst_doughco A photo posted by Spoon University (@spoonuniversity) on

An American friend of mine recently had her book translated for the British market. When her editor asked, "What are 's'mores'? Please explain or give English equivalent," I can only imagine that her reply was: "It's sort of a biscuit, if that biscuit had been rolled in the still-bleeding entrails of seven other biscuits it had recently defeated in combat."

That middle-parted wit of the wing collar, Oscar Wilde, may have remarked that the reason America is so violent is because its wallpaper is so ugly, but I would venture to suggest that the reason Americans are so unhappy is because their breakfast is a lightly sweating heart attack in sugar and salt.

Did you know that the word "floret"—as in a small, bone-white tree rising from the cream-like ground of a cauliflower—not only comes from Old French for "little flower," but was also the name of a cheap silk material. So when you tell the readers of your food blog that your spicy cauliflower is smooth as silk, you're at least etymologically correct, if not actually always true.

Не поверите, но воон за тот дубовый листик, вверху справа, меня облаяла во дворе какая-то баба. Даже стыдно стало. И правда-как это я посмела сорвать лист с дерева. ОСЕНЬЮ. • • Рецепт тыквенного пирога в предыдущем видео • #onthetable#onmytable#stilllife#stillife#pumpkinpie#rhpautumn#rhpосень#instagramrussia#инстаграмнедели#vscocam#vscocamgram#folklife#exklusive_shot#rural#liveauthentic#vscofood#folkmagazine#folkgood#click_vision#vscovisuals#vscomoment#vscogallery#foodstylist#foodstyle#foodstyling#feedfeed#f52grams#фудфотограф#bonappetit#fallcolors

A photo posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Аiza (@aizamagic) on

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, my maple leaf pals. May your Celines be always Dion and your mighty moose always wander at will. May your Bryans be Adam and your birches be silver, Boom diddy-ah da, boom diddy-ah da, boom diddy-ah da, eaa-aaa-aaa.

Lemon Tart with Lemon Jam. By @boris_lume #DessertMasters A photo posted by DessertMasters (@dessertmasters) on

I'm not even going to pretend that this looks like anything other than a canoe full of Moomin breasts.

#foodporn#instafood#homemade#pears#cheese#nuts#cinamoon#honey#wine#autumn#cooking#together#cold#evening#but#no#bad

A photo posted by Magdalena Niezgoda (@by_mag) on

Plant pears for your heirs and roast them in honey for your mummy.

Морковный кекс с фисташками под гранатовой глазурью от www.junipercakery.co.uk --------------- Ингредиенты: •Кекс: Пшеничная мука 200 гр. Сахар 200 гр. Сливочное масло 140 гр. Разрыхлитель 1,5 ч.л. Яйца 3 шт. Молоко 5 ст.л. Тертая морковь 60 гр. Фисташки рубленные 40 гр. •Глазурь: Гранатовый сок 3 ст.л. Сахарная пудра 128 гр. --------------- Приготовление: •Духовку разогреть до 180 градусов. •Хорошо смешать в одной чашке все ингредиенты для кекса. •Тесто выложить в форму. •Выпекать 40-50 минут до чистой зубочистки. •Остудить. •Для глазури смешать сок и пудру. •Украсить кекс. A photo posted by Г Л А З У Р Ь (@glaze_blog) on

Can you believe that it's 20 years since Mariah Carey released "Fantasy"? Two decades since the pear drop-cheekboned songstress hauled her jorts onto a roller coaster and flew through the air over a pier, as a sinister AF clown dicked about 12-feet under, and her rollerskating knee pads gently steamed on a bench somewhere. Happy anniversary Mariah, thanks for bringing your own cake.