America Loves Burger King's Mac N' Cheetos and We're All Doomed

It’s an uncertain time in the history of our great nation and nowhere is that more apparent than in Burger King’s brand new menu item, the Mac N’ Cheetos.

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Jul 1 2016, 5:00pm

Photo courtesy of Burger King.

What does it say about a nation when a chode-like mass of deep-fried pasta and powdered Cheetos is met with widespread success and acceptance? Especially when said Frankenfood bears a striking resemblance to the lovechild of E.T.'s finger and a bloated corpse that was given a spray tan?

It's an uncertain time in the history of our great nation, and nowhere is that more apparent than in Burger King's brand new menu item, the Mac N' Cheetos.

We declare this the summer of cheesy. #MacNCheetos coming Monday 6/27.

A photo posted by Burger King (@burgerking) on

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The Internet was ablaze with uncertainty and mild disgust last week when Burger King announced they had teamed up with Frito Lay to create the Mac N' Cheetos. Alas, now that the orange scourge has been unleashed unto the public, it seems that for the most part, America thinks the foray into Taco Bell's mash-up territory is a success on the part of the burger sovereign.

Fast food chains like Taco Bell have long used partnerships and cross-promotions with well-known snack brands to come up with new menu offerings. Need we even mention the earth-shatteringly sweet Cap'n Crunch Delights or the wildly successful Doritos Locos Tacos? Burger King and its parent company, Restaurant Brands International Inc., clearly want in on the action, as indicated by the Oscar Mayer hot dogs that Burger King started selling earlier this year.

Fox News took to the streets of New York and did a taste test. Most of the people they polled seemed to be pleasantly surprised by the orange snack, gushing the likes of, "Oh my god, this is so good!" Then again, these are people who are willing to take free food on the street from a person wielding a microphone, so yeah…

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Although it's too early to tell whether the public at large accepts the Mac N' Cheeto—after all, it was just released this week—consensus may be building. One writer at video game and culture publication Kotaku, is skeptical at first but comes around quickly to the charm of the treat: "I come here not to bury Mac N' Cheetos, but rather to praise them," he writes. In the end, he says, they "are just breaded and fried macaroni and cheese"—and what can be wrong with that?

Actually, something can be wrong with that, at least for some commentators. According to Consumerist, the treat—which retails for $2.49 for a pack of five—tastes "slightly congealed." The Chicago Tribune called them "gritty" and said, "If you like fake-tasting cheese, by all means, try these out." The Examiner pointed out that people are complaining that after eating Mac 'N Cheetos, their fingers were clean and not orange—evidently, a big deficit.

So what is the story with Mac 'N Cheetos? Do we take the advice of actor Scott Porter, who recently tweeted, "Guys... stay away. I'm not kidding, this isn't a Doritos Locos Tacos situation.#MacNCheetos #NotAGoodIdea"? Or are we to believe professional gamer Hovac One, who wrote, "Omg #burgerking new #macncheetos is freaking amazing my 2 favorite comfort foods in 1 looks amazing I love you"?

We're gonna get our Switzerland on and avoid tasting for ourselves. You can try them for us.