Emelyn Rude


Chickens Are the Original Hipsters

When groups of chickens get together, they have a tendency to peck at each other; sometimes, to death. Enter tinted chicken glasses and contact lenses, which help to suppress their violent, cannibalistic urges.
Emelyn Rude

Nazis Used to Raise American Chickens

After the US entered World War II, Americans were eating more chicken than ever, but lacking a work force. As a result, the hen men of the mid-Atlantic turned to one of the only options left: using German Prisoners of War.
Emelyn Rude

I Went to a Country that Doesn’t Exist to Drink Its Famous Brandy

Located between Moldova and the Ukraine, Transnistria has yet to receive any international acknowledgement that it actually exists. Despite that, it happens to produce some extremely fine—and extremely expensive—brandy.
Emelyn Rude
American South

The American South Is Still Eating White Dirt

Geophagy, the technical term for deliberately eating earth, soil, or clay, sounds like a terrible idea. Yet in many parts of the world, this is not considered strange or rare, but a culinary past time.
Emelyn Rude

South Africa Is in a Massive Cock Fight with the Congressional Chicken Caucus

While the US has allowed Chardonnay from Stellenbosch to flow duty-free into American goblets since 2000, taxes imposed on Yankee bird meat that same year have impeded US chicken sales to the growing South African market.
Emelyn Rude
food politics

We Talked to Dunkin' Donuts About Palm Oil on National Doughnut Day

Today is National Doughnut Day—one of the most sacred of American traditions. I went to the biggest American dougnut hub, Dunkin' Donuts, and spoke with their corporate office about the highly controversial palm oil they use in their deep-fried...
Emelyn Rude
meat locker

We Should Be Eating More Canadian Geese

Geese are the worst kind of Canadians: they're jerks, cause tons of property damage, and bring down entire aircrafts. They're also delicious—and very, very plentiful.
Emelyn Rude

Starvation Is the Diet Plan of Champions

Competitive sports like rowing, wrestling, and MMA fighting involve weight limit pressures that can cause athletes to quickly drop pounds. In rowing, many athletes starve themselves or live on a diet of grapes and Pedialyte to reach their ideal weight...
Emelyn Rude

American St. Patrick's Day Is a Violent, Drunken Disaster

On our adopted holiday of debauchery, 80 percent of all drunk-driving deaths involve drivers who are nearly twice the legal limit, and entire cities and college campuses have shut down their "Irish" festivities due to sexual assault, robbery...
Emelyn Rude

Humans Have a Long History of Eating Each Other

Anthropophagy, the technical term for eating thy neighbor, is the ultimate culinary taboo, one that we claim only the criminally insane or starving and desperate participate in. But there is a fourth group, who eat people and live among us, known as...
Emelyn Rude