The MUNCHIES Guide to Summer Seafood

Ahhh, summer. It's the time for long walks on the boardwalk, games of beach volleyball, and showing off your passably sculpted guns in your favorite mankini. The time for outdoor cooking and getting familiar with the tastiest critters the ocean has to offer.

This is the season of fish frys and seafood boils and throwing another goddamn shrimp on the barbie. It's the season of sitting outside for hours, cracking crab claws till your hands are good and bloody and sucking down oysters with a glass of champagne, for no other reason than to celebrate the warmth of the sun.

We love throwing a rack of ribs or a steak on the grill as much as the next guy, but all that meat can get a little heavy. Sometimes you need to take a break from the swine and bovine pleasures, and enjoy the refreshing and briny delights of the sea.

And what grander delight than a whole fish, head-to-tail, with eyes, bones, and all? Matty Matheson's recipe for fried tilapia is seasoned with cilantro, ginger, and Thai chiles; plus Korean chile powder, lime juice, garlic, rice wine vinegar, and a big splash of fish sauce before being deep fried—just the way the good lord intended. Unlike Matty, you don't have to kill yours on the spot.

What you might have to kill on the spot—at least if you want to boil it—is lobster. But if the thought of sending a lobster to a mafia-style death is too much for you to handle, we've got a great recipe for grilled or baked lobster with garlic aioli and chips or a perfect lobster roll, drizzled in butter and sandwiched between the fluffy halves of a bun delicately coated in mayonnaise.

Lobster is the king of the crustaceans—especially in the Northeast—but who the hell can afford to eat lobster on the regular? The answer to your shellfish woes might just be this shrimp roll seasoned with a blend of six different spices. It's lobster roll for the 99%.

Want to throw your shrimp on the grill while it's still warm enough to spend your days grilling? These sugarcane-skewered spicy grilled shrimp take a quick bath in a scotch bonnet and orange marinade for a signature Caribbean flavor. But if a taste of the islands isn't your thing, let's take a figurative trip east for these Thai-style grilled shrimp skewers, complete with plenty of fish sauce, thai chillies, and cilantro.

But let's say it's raining outside, and you really don't feel like trying to light that charcoal grill as you fight to keep your umbrella open through the prevailing winds. Well, we'll go ahead and say that you're in luck, because then you can make this fried shrimp grilled cheese sandwich—the ultimate comfort food (or the perfect drunken midnight snack).

Let's not forget about crabs. There are few culinary occasions more cause for a celebration than that time of year when soft-shell crabs are in season. And that time, friends, is now. So bust out your deep fryer and celebrate with these chili-citrus deep-fried soft shell crabs from Austin's Ramen Tatsu-Ya. They're perfectly crispy, spicy, and taste like summer. Even better, throw them in a bun and you've got yourself some soft shell crab sliders.

The only problem with these crabs is the price, so if you don't feel like, um, shelling out the cash for these seasonal delicacies, there is a world of possibilities with their better-armored cousins. Our advice? Steam them in a mixture of vinegar and water. But if you're the kind of person who doesn't like dealing with crackers and newspaper and sticky, bloody fingers, you've still got plenty of exciting options.

For starters, pick up some jumbo lump crab meat, mix it with three kinds of cheese, Old Bay, and garlic, and then watch your friends elbow each other out of the way as they fight to dip yet another slice of warm baguette into the world's most addictive Maryland crab dip. Or impress the crowd with these crab cake sandwiches. We're not talking about the kind all your friends are used to, with all sorts of fillers and binders. We're talking about loads of jumbo lump crab meat and not much else.

Ya know what else is great about summer? Guacamole. What could be better than guacamole? Guacamole with smoked marlin thrown on top of a tostada. That's what. If you can't find marlin, tuna or albacore will do just fine.

So grab some avocados, pick up your favorite seafood, and invite your friends over for some good eatin. Just leave your mankini in the closet where it belongs.