It's Tuesday, January 15, and Trump Really Served 'Hamberders' to NCAA Champs

Welcome to Off-Menu, where we'll be rounding up all the food news and food-adjacent internet ephemera that delighted, fascinated, or infuriated us this morning.

• Yesterday, we led this morning news roundup with President Donald Trump rambling about his plan to feed the Clemson Tigers football team a selection of fast food on the occasion of their visit to the White House. Given his propensity for talk that only occasionally matches up to action, it appeared notable that he actually went ahead and did just that. Plus, the man called them "hamberders"—and not in a relatable speech stumble, but rather spelled out that way in a tweet on purpose.

There's a truly unlimited supply of fantastic tweets and photos commemorating an event that, sadly, will not actually be emblematic of this absurd era, as it is sure to be soon eclipsed by our Commander-in-Chief diverting public funds to a war on the Oxford English Dictionary for refusing to officially change the spelling of "hamburger"…but I am particularly fond of that one up at the top featuring a man in a bowtie lighting a gilded candelabra to ensure sufficient ambiance when the unpaid football players are treated to the cheap food putatively sprung for by a putative billionaire by birth.

• Amazon/Whole Foods is pivoting away from their strategy to open lower-priced 365-branded stores, according to internal documents obtained by Yahoo. They're not closing any of the existing 12 locations, but they also won't open any new ones. This is apparently because, according to emails from CEO John Mackey, there's no need for a designated affordable destination when they're already "consistently lowering prices in our core Whole Foods Market stores." Sounds nice! They should definitely give that a try.
• For the 100-year anniversary of the Boston Molasses Flood, Atlas Obscura has a deep dive on the 40-foot wave that killed 21 people and left the city smelling like “brown syrup and blood." In addition to providing a vivid description of what happened, the piece considers the impact of the mostly immigrant victims on the event's legacy.
• About 30,000 teachers in Los Angeles have gone on strike for the first time in 30 years to address California's chronic underfunding of education. On Monday afternoon, food trucks provided tacos to a group of 50 teachers protesting outside the Ramon C. Cortines School of Visual and Performing Arts—aided by the Tacos for Teachers GoFundMe, which has raised almost $22,000 in 11 days.

A "former software engineer for Google and Facebook" has taken it upon himself to optimize our flawed measuring cup design. You can tell it's better than whatever women have been using for centuries because there's a math equation on it. As far as scare tactics go (Mashable captioned their video "All measuring cups are wrong"), this is fairly low stakes, but I still think you don't need to worry all that much—or Marie Kondo your current cups in favor of a $24 (plus $5 shipping and handling) version. If a recipe relies on absolute accuracy, it likely lists ingredients by weight (and if you're that concerned, you likely already have—and use—a scale). Beyond that, just assume the recipe tester was using the same flawed measuring cups you have in your cabinet at home.

Your favorite emo ex boyfriend Panic! At The Disco is collaborating with Asbury Park Brewery on a limited edition IPA, called IP!ATD, that will be released in March. And yes, this is something nice because some of us recognize that I Write Sins Not Tragedies still seriously slaps. Oh, wait, this is pegged to their new album? Panic! At the Disco is still releasing music? I'm sorry, I cannot endorse.

For some reason, my grandmother persists in sending me this 3.5-gallon tub of three different popcorn flavors for every life event and achievement milestone. Pro tip: skip the artificial butter entirely, but eat the caramel and cheese flavor popcorns at the same time. It's basically like DIY Chicago Mix and yes, you'll make yourself sick, but it'll be worth it.